Duo's Greatest Battle
by Ko-chan to Ya-chan
Summary: Duo faces his toughest opponent yet.


            Konnichiwa minna! I'm back with a brand new, 100% humorous Gundam Wing fic!! I thought of this after watching Endless Waltz and doing the dishes after having teriyaki chicken wings for dinner... (Weird circumstances, I know- but you'll see why I thought of it in a minute! ^-~) Anyway, ON WITH THE FIC!!!

                                                                                                ~ Ko-chan Ya-chan's trying to keep the peace between our muses ^^;;

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to.... someone. I dunno. Just definitely not me, or else Relena would leave poor Hi-chan alone already, and Du-chan would have a better dubbed version voice actor.. *glomps the brunette pair*

**Duo's Greatest Battle**

****

Duo Maxwell growled at his latest foe- one of such horror he could not recall the proper name for it at the moment. It was pure carnage at its worst. Bones were littered everywhere, some with flesh still hanging on by mere threads. Normally, he wouldn't be the least bit affected by such things, but to him, his enemy was anything _but_ normal. And as he stared down his opponent, something new overcame him-

        Pure, un-adultered _fear_.

        A thick, tar-like substance clung to what was once shiny, black metal; slowly oozing down it as gravity took its course. Grimy, oily liquid surrounded the metal, eating away at the tough material while heavy coils of vapor streamed off into the surrounding air. The smell of death was rolling off it in strong waves, and Duo had to resist the urge to run away screaming like a little girl.

        Never-the-less, he was the only one able to defeat such a terrible thing, since none of the others were in a position to help him, not that they would anyway... This would prove to be a difficult task, but he had to do it- it was his duty. And so, the braid-wearing shinigami mustered up his courage and bravely thrust his hand into the corrosive liquid... Only to yank it back out immediately after.

        "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!! IT _BURNS_!!! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW~!" the brunette cried in despair, sticking his hand in the nearest cold thing possible, which just happened to be a well-placed pitcher of iced tea that someone had left out earlier.

        Wincing at the pain of his hand, the American teen turned and glared daggers at his assailant; you guessed it- a sink full of dirty dishes.

        It had been Duo's turn to clean up after dinner, a chore he'd somehow been able to get out of doing before, and the rest of the GW boys, in honor of his first _real_ cleaning-duty, had prepared teriyaki chicken wings. And, as you all know, T.C.W. happens to be one of the most stubborn things to clean off when dealing with pots and pans. He'd tried to weasel out of it by threatening to tell the secrets of all the pilots in turn, but they had all refused, seeing as how he was fresh outta blackmail. Thus, here he was, alone, with a steaming sink full of incredibly dirty dishes.

        The brunette sighed, taking his hand out of the pitcher and wiping it off on a towel. At least he had a dish-washing machine to help... Of course, he'd have to scrub off most of the grime by hand before placing the dishware in the electronic gadget.

        Sighing again, he pulled on a pair of thick rubber gloves, praying they'd hold until he was finished, and grabbed the bottle of liquid soap in one hand, the sponge in the other. Taking a deep breath, he plunged into the germ-ridden ses-pool once more.

        He battled the oil and burned on sauce, scrubbing with vigor and sending dirty-looking soap suds flying all over the place. He scrubbed and scrubbed, tearing his way through the grease and grime until finally, he placed the last 13" X 9" baking pan in the dishwasher, adding 'Sun Light™', and slamming the door closed. He turned the cleaning-gage onto 'normal: pots & pans', then unclogged the sink- smiling as the dirty water disappeared down the drain.

        Pulling off the gloves, he wiped up all the bubbles with the towel from before, and, after admiring his 'great' accomplishment, turned and left the room. 5 minutes later, Quatre found Duo lazily watching the international channel on the cable t.v.

        Raising an eyebrow, the blonde exclaimed, "Duo, you finished the dishes _already_?!"

        "Yeah, yeah... I did 'em..." the pilot of DeathScythe replied, his eyes clearly glued to the screen.

        Quatre regarded him for a moment, then decided to investigate. Stepping into the kitchen, he was greeted by a spotless kitchen, and the dishwasher was humming noisily in the corner. Surprised that _Duo_ had done so well, he smiled, deciding to comment on it.

        "Wow, Duo! The kitchen looks great! We should have you clean up again tomorrow night!" the blonde grinned, then headed back up to his room.

        It took a few seconds for Quatre's comment to register- but soon enough, a loud wail of 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!' was heard all across the globe, even reaching the ears of the space colonies' residents.

Owari

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            Heh heh... that was hilarious! (To Ya-chan and Naruto, that is...)

            I couldn't help but write this lil' fic... The inspiration simply struck me... *winces at her bruised knee* Damn coffee table nightstand…..

            Anyhoo, I hope you guys liked this one... Ja ne!

                                                                                                ~ Ko-chan


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